(One of) The bad thing(s) about being in your thirties is that it is the beginning of the end. It takes a while for you to wrap your head around it, but then one fine morning it strikes you ohmygodohmygodiamoooolllllddddd – and that is just the ugly truth. It’s all downhill from there, my friend, down the hill you roll, O boy!
And speaking of rolls, there is also the question of these unwanted rolls of flesh that make their appearance, say hellooooooo there, and make permanent residence in the most inappropriate parts of your anatomy. You might be blessed with the metabolism of a horse and you may live in the fantasy that it’s going to last you forever… you poor sod, you have no idea! Your metabolism will wane, your fat cells will outnumber your red blood cells, and you can do jack s*** about that. So there!
Well maybe you can, but I am yet to crack the code. My metabolism would have put a horse to shame. I have (in the past) always looked extremely skinny, people would call me malnourished. But, the truth was that I would pig out, eat an obscene amount of food, and still burn it all off without moving a muscle. I have gone to buffet dinners and eaten so much that all I could do at the end of the meal was to lean back into the plush chair, feeling like a load of lard. I’d eat so much dessert that it would make me feel drunk. Still, not an ounce of extra fat, no Sir. Smug. That was what I was.
Anyway, reminiscing about the past won’t up metabolism or down fat cell creation, so I have been trying to eat sensibly (ha!) and workout consistently (haha!). I have plenty of wont power, but not much will power, so nothing sticks. I recently bought myself an online program that ordinary people who are not gym rats can use, and I hope it works. And my knowledge about all things food related have been thoroughly messed up by too much research, because I recently saw a video about how brown bread is not health food. And that table butter substitutes aren’t good either. And that sugar and salt are more antagonistic than previously thought!
Since my conception of conventional wisdom (or what I thought was wise) is in tatters now, I’m completely at a loss as to what is good and what is not. The sad part is that it is not just health/weight related wisdom that has been blown to bits, but whatever I have held to be TRUTH so far has turned out to be NOT.
Well, life sure has a funny way of teaching its unwilling students. I hope I get at least the weight related lessons right.
