At the moment of realization that you really are condemned to be free*, if you do not immediately lapse into anguish or anxiety, here is what you can do – while your time away in introspection and observation without sparing a thought to the utility of your actions because of course the truly Free do not bother themselves with the triviality of utility.
And tell them, those long dead, and those still alive: “You don’t know any better than I do. Whom do I turn to now?”
Take my sight, hearing, all my senses and carve a chalice out of me which will hold whatever will take the form of it. Or at least strike me down with food poisoning, there is nothing like knotted cramped intestines to put your life in perspective.
The only purpose of life is to live. Growing up is something you do every single day, for the rest of your life.
Scared? Welcome to the Jungle.
*Man is condemned to be free.