Apologies in Advance

Did you know that the heart
traps screams?
Dumb old heart –
all muscle and no brain.
It’s audible, that wail.
Listen.
Mewls that build to shrieks,
the lament of a thousand souls,
a constant dirge imprisoned.

Did you also know that the heart
expands in love?
Kiss by little kiss it swells,
and consumes the object of its affection.
Somewhat silly, colossally foolish,
but very real – all of it.

I know all this.
Been there done that and all that, you know.
So please excuse my lack of respect
for drama queens who cannot tell
love from general horniness
and grief from their constipated ass.

Home

“Where do you live?”

“I live on the high road, sir. On the high road.”

Change

Your insignificance is so complete that I feed off your laughableness, rather unkindly, just to take my mind off things that really matter.

Prayer of the Angry

Deliver us from the pitiful whines of attention-seekers who complain of their nonexistent maladies;
those who boast of suffering without knowing what it is;
those who flaunt melancholy because they think it is cool;
those who hold onto ugliness, afraid to let go;
those who have no courage, intent or desire to help themselves.
Their false, fake whimpers insult those who have truly walked the fires of Hell.

Or give us patience to suffer these fools.

Give

Give me your hands.
He left a lotus bloom in them.
Give me your hands.
He left a soft kiss; my palms closed into fists.
Give me your hands.
He tied a garland around my wrists. “On a whim,” he said. On a whim.

Give me your trust.
“I have trust issues,” I protested.
Give me your trust.
“I’ll tread carefully,” he promised.
Give me your trust.
His child-smile ate up my life lessons.

Give me your heart.
“I don’t have one,” I protested.
Give me your heart.
“I see you, I want you,” he was insistent.
Give me your heart.
“I’m a collector of hearts,” he said.

Give me your understanding.
“Ask for my love, not my understanding,” I begged.
Give me your understanding.
“My understanding is reserved only for strangers,” I said.
Give me your understanding.
You have it. Now give me yours.

Unsolicited Advice

Embarrassment and bewilderment at how stupid you can be, is but a probable eventuality of a risk that you took which didn’t quite pay off. The shame may be temporary, but it is real enough to make you want to burrow back into your shell and never expose your soft belly again.

But life isn’t meant to be lived inside a bubble. You walk into what could possibly be pain, accept the experience and live with the consequences. It’s your choice, another name for freedom.

As you wake from sleep, you cry for the comfort of darkness that you were in just minutes before. This uncertainty and shakiness of wakefulness is what is peddled as liberation; if you feel cheated, take heart, better men than you have been lured by its siren call. Comfort lies only in slumber. To get to the other side for another kind of comfort, you must cross the barrier of pain.

Read the newspaper and your make-believe security blanket will lose a thin layer every day. Which is this place that you are living in? Hell?

Someone once said, “The ugly in people disgusts me,” to which I loftily responded from my high horse, “Nothing is ugly.” But I stand corrected. Ugly is very real. Ugly is ugly indeed, there is nothing beautiful or redeeming about it.

“Everyone does it. So I am not wrong. Don’t judge me.” (You will be judged, live with it. When you choose to do what they all do, you will also be judged as they are.)

“What about me? What about ME?” (me me me me me me me me me. You are just one miserable me in a universe of virus-me’s.)

Do what your me wants. Just remember that there are two types of consequence to every single thing that you choose to do: consequence to yourself, and consequence to others. If you know that a particular action will result in positive consequences to yourself, but negative consequences to others, would you still do it? Would you make the decision based on who these other people are or would it not matter?

What you do is who you are. So what would you do?

Closure

Sweetie, when I let go, did you hurt like I did?
I have killed you in my world, am I dead in yours?
I no longer look you up, do you still read me?
What was it, I wonder, our short-lived recognition of each other.
How trivial it must have been, that it did not even deserve a funeral.
Perhaps closure is a luxury that unnamed attachments cannot afford.